At our recent fundraising affair with Bobby Bowden I gained some insight that I really did not think would happen that night. Kind of a serendipity. I was getting ready for the evening and getting a little overwhelmed with all that needed to be finished in such a short amount of time so I delegated a task to my husband. I gave him the task to decorate our table. I had spent several weeks planning in my head how I wanted to decorate the table and what materials I would use etc... I gave him all those materials and asked him to put them together. I don't know what I was thinking, because I did not give him any directions on my thoughts of how I wanted it done. He
knew that I was overwhelmed at that point and knew better than to ask for details and he thought (I'm sure) that he had this under control. I assumed he would not do this task at all and would just stick the stuff on the table. Much to my amusement I saw him working diligently on the table about an hour into the prep time and he had created the above. Now I will tell you this, it was not what I had envisioned. He had not used the flowers I had bought or the coke bottles that I had also bought. But, the task was done. He actually did a very creative design and I was quite impressed. I then looked around the room at all the other creations and each was very special and unique but was a creation from each person's own perspective.
As I look back on this incident I learned a great lesson or two. First, I could trust him with a task and he would come through. Second, we have two different perspectives. He had all the materials that I had bought but his design was totally different than what I had designed in my head. His perspective was different, not wrong or right, but different. He saw a totally different picture than I did. Each of us views things differently. We have different histories, and different pictures in our brains, so many times when we disagree it's because we have different perspectives. We may want to say that it is wrong, but can you really say that? We have to put ourselves in their shoes or see things from their perspective. When we can try to see things from another's perspective we can have a better understanding.
I was listening to a podcast today by James McDonald on forgiveness and one point he was making was that when we are forgiving someone we are to be kind and tenderhearted. I loved how he pointed out what tenderhearted meant. Tenderhearted means to have a heart for someone else. That you have their perspective and you embrace and accept their perspective.
When someone does something that might hurt you or does something that you just don't quite get try to see it from their perspective. Then the thing that I have learned is that you have to find the good in it. I don't believe people, especially those that love you and care for you want the worst for you. Say to yourself "what were they thinking?" When you do you will have a much easier time being kind and tenderhearted.
Life has gotten to be wild and crazy!! I feel like I've lost control to some extent, but yet so much continues to happen. I let my blog go for a while because I felt like I needed to show attention to my husband's needs. He loves to travel and go on adventures, so when summer hit we had our children coming and going and he had a goal of doing RAGBRAI again this year. After riding with him on many Tuesday evening group rides and weekend rides, I came to the conclusion that he gives me so very much and I need to return to him at least time and attention. He allows me time to work on this initiative and supports me in many ways. So when I realized that I needed to think of his needs over my own, I realized how important it was for him that I go with him on RAGBRAI. Yes, he would have and easily could have done this on his own, but it was much more enjoyable to share this experience with me. On several occasions he told me how much he wished I was going with him. I finally came to the conclusion and was inspired to join him on this ride. But, it was a sacrifice in other areas. I don't regret the time we had and actually look back and have some great memories, lessons and growth from the experience. But, it's taken me a while to get back on track.
Last week was our largest fundraiser dinner we have ever attempted. We brought Coach Bobby Bowden in, one of my dreams, to speak. But that required a lot of time and energy too. It was an awesome experience too! A great man that has an uncanny ability to share his heart in a straight forward manner, without being politically correct and gets the point across so effectively and non-threateningly. But, I'm still recovering from that too.
Recently one of my board members shared a great book with me by the Steven Covey organization, The 4 Disciplines of Executions, Achieving your Wildly Important Goals. Once I began to read this book I realized how effective this was, not just in leadership in an organization but also in your personal life. One of the things that it brought out was that we can all get distracted by our "whirlwinds". These whirlwinds are the activities just as I have mentioned above that keep you from accomplishing your Wildly Important Goals. But what are yours and my Wildly Important Goals? Are my goals to focus on my husband and family and meet their needs? Are my goals to serve others? Are my goals to do what God calls me to do? I have come to the conclusion that I need to constantly keep the goals of my life intact so that I am doing what God calls me to do. I need to constantly visit these goals so that I am making sure my goals for my personal coincide with my professional life.
So with all these considerations I have come to the conclusion as I read today, that my life is about putting others first so that I can be totally dependent on God to take care of all of my needs. When I do that I have seen the mighty things that He accomplishes through me, which I am a very insignificant human body, to accomplish what he wants. I want to meet the needs of my husband and family and show them the love and acceptance that they need. And then I want to serve my community with love to encourage others to have strong healthy families so that the children that I see can have a better chance in this world.
In conclusion, I want to keep my focus in the right place, so I hope you will understand when certain whirlwinds get in my way. I pray that I will reach my Wildly Important Goals by keeping myself focused on the right things. I hope this might be helpful to you too. So here's to a new start to my blog and away we go!!!
