The End in Sight

For six days we did this journey and on the seventh we rested, well sort of.  Our last night coming into Raymond, MS was long and tedious.  We kept pedaling and pedaling and it felt like we would never reach our destination.   Finally we spotted the trail with a white ribbon that led to our BnB "Mamie's Cottage".  We had no idea what we would find here.  We knew we were coming to the end and the rain just kept falling.  We had hopes for a wonderful bed and for me a tub to soak in.  When we walked our bikes up the path going

around the corner we found a beautiful site.  A very old unpainted antebellum home with great charm and beautiful landscaping.  Beside it was a little white cottage that was so very inviting.  We got to the gate and it was almost surreal, as if there was a mist and we had gone back into time.  We noticed another couple with bikes around the cottage and realized we were sharing the accommodations with fellow bikers.  I anxiously got into the cottage to see what amenities we had and much to my surprise and happiness there was a jacuzzi tub.  More than I asked for.  I stripped those wet clothes off and started running the water only to find that the water was brown.  At this point that would not stop me.  I immersed myself into the brown water and soaked for a good 45 minutes.  It was still too short.  Our stay at Mamie's Cottage was so comfortable.

The next morning we awoke to more drizzle and more rain in the forecast.  To my excitement we had a beautiful breakfast on gorgeous Mississippi River Basin Pottery Plates, then the owners took us on a tour of their beautiful historic home.  John and I were thrilled to learn the history of this area. The couple that we were sharing the cottage with were also getting
ready to head out on the Trace.  So as soon as we could we packed up and headed on our way.  The other couple got a head start, but even at our snail pace our road bikes caught up with their mountain bikes.

The day was cold and as we went along I had to stop to warm my feet up as they were going numb from frost nip.  John would gently hold my foot in his hands and blow on it to warm it up.  He took such good care of me as we went on down the road.  Every 12 -15 miles we would stop and he would massage my back so I could go a little longer.  Our next stop would be the final stop and we had finished our epic journey.

We arrived in Natchez a couple hours later than planned due to having to stop for my ailments.  But once we saw the End of the Natchez Trace sign we had more energy.  We got our pictures and headed toward town to our final destination.  Our BnB in Natchez
was exquisite.  John had planned to have a grand finale for me if I'd made it, and it sure was.  Absolutely loved the place.  There were several rooms to this cottage and several other people to share with.  Our bed was an antique "Rice" bed that came up halfway to my trunk.  At first I had a hard time getting up on the bed, and of course John's long legs accommodated easily to it.  We found the bed stool and I hoisted myself up to a most luxurious sleep.  We celebrated with pizza in the room and were out cold.

All along the way our journey reminded me of our marriage.  We started off a bit rough, trying to figure out how to do this, just as we did in our marriage.  Then things started going easier, but we still had
some challenges, but we kept on going.  We met people along the way that would encourage us.  And as we went John would help me and I would help him, but we kept going.  Our reward was so sweet at the end.  We were able to rest and do the things we enjoy, exploring a town,  checking out their history and enjoying the food.  Our travels back to our car was much easier than we anticipated.  So all and all this was a fantastic trip.  Would I do it again?  John told me as we went, this is kind of like "Childbirth" It was long and taxing and painful, but you forget all that and after a little time you want to do it again.

Our marriage has been that way too.  I would do it all again and enjoy my time with my best friend.  A quote I recently found really says it best, “The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.” -Robert Brault   Each of our journeys should be like this.  We just need to be encouraged to continue.  Thanks for joining me.  

Keep on Pedaling

Believe it or not, I'm still recovering from this journey.  Being the age that I am it takes a longer time to get back to where I was before I attempted this crazy idea of biking 440 miles.  I look back and realize even more what a journey it was!!

When we left Houston, MS, our sweet hostess sent us on our way through a less dangerous but a little more circuitous route.  We got up to the Trace without difficulty.  It's so wonderful when you have people in your life that help you get back safely when you get off track.  The day started out beautiful.  We enjoyed sunshine, but also some wind.  Which reminds me that even when there are good times there are still some challenges we will face.  We had some ups and downs with the hills as we traveled. This day would be a little longer.  As we went a long we noticed our radar that rain was coming in.  But fortunately we kept heading south to Kosciusko, MS without rain upon us.  We could shed some clothes but it was still a bit nippy as we went along.

This was the day I was really looking forward to since I knew we would get to stop halfway at French Camp to eat lunch.  French Camp is a delightful little community with a group home and school for both troubled children or those without homes.  We had stayed here before so I knew what a wonderful campus they had.  They also had a great cafe that we could enjoy a sit down lunch.  We had not gotten to really experience this along the way.

 When I had agreed to this trip, I thought that we would be going along the trace and when it would be lunch time we could just scoot over to a little cafe and eat.  Well, that's not exactly what happened.  Most of those scoot off the Trace places were 5-10 miles off the Trace, which is not a problem in a car, but I knew that when our regular schedule would be 75 miles another 5-10 miles was not my idea of scooting off the trace. But I realize that's how life is, we have certain expectations when we first agree to this marriage thing and then once we get into it, it's not what we thought it would be.  So French Camp was a wonderful oasis in the middle of the day.  We enjoyed their soup and sandwich and delicious Mississippi Mud Cake.

With that break it was much easier to make the other 36 miles we had to go to Kosciusko.  So off we pedaled to Kosciusko.  Our Next place was about 3 miles off the Trace.  We got their and saw a lovely brick home from the early 20th century.  We rang the bell and once again no answer.  We ended up calling and the hostess' helper came right over and let us in.  We had the most beautiful room on the first floor.  Which by that time was essential, there's no way our legs wanted to go up and down the stairs.  Ends up we were all by ourselves in the big home.  There were so many beautiful details that were there originally.  It was almost spooky with the stained glass windows and big poster beds.

There were lots of amenities like free wi-fi and walking
distance to a quaint downtown.  The owner was just across the street.  It was a wonderful resting place and we even had a washer and dryer to help us make it through the rest of the trip.  But we were all by ourselves.  A little lonely but still nice.  Seemed a little like our empty nest stage that we are enjoying now.  A little lonely but still nice.


We got tickled in the morning because with each of the BnB's we had been staying in for the past few days we enjoy wonderful fancy breakfasts just before we headed out,  but this breakfast was a little more like what we would get at the convenience store.  It worked, and out we
headed in full rain gear.  This would be our longest hardest day with 86 miles to get to our next stop, Raymond, MS.

It started raining just as we got on our bikes and we did not see it stop until we arrived at our destination in Raymond.  We were able to have a nice break again when we went right through Jackson and enjoy a beautiful area.  We made friends at the bike shop and even got a wonderful Greek lunch.   All so very enjoyable especially allowing us to warm up out of the rain.  These two days were more what I thought we were going to experience, but not necessarily in the rain.  So I had to put on my big girl panties and be happy about this opportunity and keep heading south.

Up and down and pedal and pedal we finally made it to Raymond. This would be a bit more challenging to find our exit because the BnB owners property backed up to the trace and they had a trail that we would follow to their home. 86 miles is really long and doing it in the rain seemed even longer.  Looking for just the right ribbon was tedious, but we finally arrived.  And what a beautiful arrival it was!!!

The Journey Continues....

Isn't that how we feel some times.  The journey just keeps going even though we don't want it too.  I think I filled you in to when we went home to the wedding, and it was a little hard to get back to the grind of pedaling that bicycle.   We had done 2 days in the rain and enjoyed a wonderful day in our own bed.  Life was looking up.  But now we had to get back in our car and travel 5 hours back to Baldwyn, MS.  But you know we were refreshed and renewed.  Kind of reminds me when we have gotten a break with a vacation or a retreat and we are ready to face life again.


We got in pretty late and it was kind of like the commercial where Tom Bodett with his friendly voice says "We'll leave the light on for you."  That's what Tom and Jeannie at our Bed n' Breakfast did.  We got into our very comfortable room and slept so very well and awoke to our new found friends that had been so very helpful to us through our recent journey.  They had a delicious breakfast that would sustain us through our journey.  And the most delightful part of breakfast was the visit with Tom and Jeannie as they sat and ate breakfast with us.  We learned so many fun things about them and found we had a kindred spirit for biking.  You know it's these friends that help us along the way, picking us up and saying "Well your almost half way, you will see this and this and ...."  It was so encouraging to have this stop.  We were also blessed in that they were willing to keep our car as we continued our journey down the Natchez.

The next day we enjoyed a BEAUTIFUL day in the sunshine we could actually get our speed up to 14 miles/ hour.  We only had to do 76 miles.  We saw more buzzards and a skunk and even a raccoon which scared me a tad since it was out during the day.  Our ride was good.  We were headed to Houston, MS.  We were able to take our lunch stop at the Tupelo Visitor's Center.  Enough to keep us going to Houston.  We had our ups and downs and it seemed like my attitude was improving.  John had given me plenty of opportunity to quit, but now I was going because I wanted to continue.  I found that I was doing much better if I listened to the music and just kept pedaling.  It seemed that John was much more patient now with me that we had both decided this is what we wanted to do.  I found that in our married life too.  About year fifteen I found that I was in this thing to the end.  I chose to accept John where he is and see the good in that and keep going and enjoy the journey.  And we did.

Getting off in Houston was an adventure in itself.  John had the directions to the best way to get to the
Bed n' Breakfast.  BUT..... it was in an inconvenient place and he couldn't get to it.  So we just got off the exit to Houston and headed to the BnB the best way we could.  A very busy street with trucks and lots of pot holes was the way we chose to go, it seemed forever to go the last 4 miles.  I stayed as close to John as I could but it was a definite challenge.  We arrived at Bridges - Hall Manor through the great obstacle course.  Our Victorian home was right downtown.  A beautiful home in a very southern town. We found the doorbell and rang it and rang it and rang it then we called.  Finally, Ms. Carol was able to hear us and welcomed us with wonderful Southern Hospitality.


The first thing John asked was, " Where's a good place to get a steak?"  He had not looked at the directions and accommodations and first of all we had come the wrong way in, there was a more direct and safer route written out for us, but he had also failed to see that we had ordered a very delightful dinner there at the BnB.  Carol being the gracious southerner took it that we were not interested in chicken so canceled our dinner and sent us to "No Way Jose".  We later looked at the itinerary and found the menu that we had forfeited, Herb crusted honey mustard chicken with Godiva chocolate pie for dessert.  Bummer!! We messed up!!! You gotta read the directions.  Sometimes along the way of life we go the wrong way cause we won't listen or we don't follow the original plan.  Carol was gracious and forgiving but we had lost out on a delightful dinner.  But after you realize it you apologize, and move on and try to get back on track.  Our room there was gorgeous.  Carol was into collecting beautiful things.  They were everywhere in her home.  After a quick sleep we were up again and our sweet Southern Hostess sent us on a route that was quite scenic and safe.  She also rode along with us to make sure we had our route correct.  How wonderful to have someone walk with you to help you get back on track.  We were back on the road with the wind to our back and sunshine above and headed to our next destination......

The GREAT Adventure Continues

After finally catching up from the "GREAT Adventure" I can get back to my post.  Last week I started comparing our journey to our marriage and as I thought about it through the week it became even more apparent that it really was a parallel to our marriage.  When we started off we were so excited and ready to do this.  Like we were when we got married.  And right away we had some rain,  just some misting and light rain.  I talked with several after our trip and they said they would have packed it up and come home then.  But John and I were committed.

By the second day I was getting frustrated, it seemed nothing I did was right according to what John said.  "Get Closer" "You're in the wrong gear!!" "Get that thing out of your ear" "Respond when I talk to you!"   And with all that being thrown at me I was angry, (but I wasn't a quitter!)  I had to finally tell him that I really wanted to do this but I had to do a few things the way I did it if I would make it in the long run!"  I didn't think he heard me, but he did and he left me alone.  I also started talking to myself that I needed to have a positive attitude rather than a negative one and I would enjoy this journey a whole lot more.  I put some positive music and a book on and listened as I pedaled, I was a much happier camper when I took this attitude.  I also started saying to myself, "What's the good in what he's doing here?"  When I did that I could put myself in his shoes and say to myself, he is wanting to keep me safe and make sure I can make the whole ride with him.  All of these things made a huge difference.

When we got to our second stop in Collinwood, TN, we stayed in a very humble motel.  Nothing fancy but it had a clean, warm room, with a shower,  and a wonderful host that let us in.  I fell on the way in to the hotel and the host was so precious in helping me up.  He truly felt horrible that a woman had fallen.  I saw that stage of the game as the stage where we are just getting started and it's not really things that make us happy it's the people and relationships.  John and I fuss, but once again, I realized that I would not want to do that trip with anyone else and I was going to cherish this time.  It's kind of like the time in your life when you have nothing and you enjoy it.  You look back and think that was great!!!

Well, right in the middle of our adventure we went home so that I could be with my best friend to give her daughter a bridal brunch and attend the wedding.  It was very complicated to do this but because of this relationship I knew I would regret it if I did not.  So we packed things up drove the 5 hours to Cleveland, TN, and spent the day enjoying the festivities and friends then got right back in the car and headed back again.  Don't we have some detours in our lives.  We might just take a vacation or time off.  We don't leave the relationship but change the routine.  We did that and wow! I was ready to go again.  I was glad I put the extra effort into it, then I was glad to get back into routine.  We keep on going.

I'll continue more of our Journey later this week.  Stay tuned.....

Life is Challenging but the Commitment is worth it.

 
Wow!!! What an adventure!!! Empty nesting can be wonderful and challenging.  We are free to start checking off our bucket lists, but our ages show that we are not as young as we think.

 This past week John and I experienced an adventure of a lifetime.  We rode 440 miles down the Natchez Trace, from Franklin, TN at Leiper's Fork to Natchez City on our bikes with all of our luggage.  I look back now and will say it was fun, but at the time, it was not.  The week was much colder and much rainier than we anticipated.  We had some changes we had to make right in the middle but we did it!!!  What did not kill me strengthened me.  There was so much that I learned on this journey, but also I learned about my husband.

We knew we would have challenges when we started our journey, we just didn't know how many.  We met so many wonderful people along the way that helped us in some unexpected ways.  We started our journey at Leiper's Fork just outside of Franklin, TN.  We stayed at a wonderful Bed n Breakfast and our hostess was so helpful to make sure we had everything we needed to start our journey, including a way to the Trace after dropping off the first rental car.  

We started on our bikes after our wonderful rest in a beautiful room and an Eggs Benedict Breakfast.  The rain started that day and kept going on and off for the first two days.  We saw some wild life and beautiful scenery close up.  But what I learned here was that you can start with a beautiful beginning and great hopes but there will be rain and challenges, but if you know and you are prepared you can make it through those tough times.  I was not necessarily in shape, I was cold, I got sick and I lost feeling in a big toe from frost nip for about 4 hours.  But we kept going to find rest at the Hardware store.  A very simple abode, that was clean.  I learned to trust John and to follow closely so that I would have an easier ride as well as a safer one.  When I fell at this place the gentleman at the Hardware store was so kind and gentle in helping me up.  I have bruises, but nothing that would keep me from continuing our journey.

We interrupted our journey with a wedding, going 5 hours to and back in one day.  A little detour sometimes is worth it, especially when we are showing love to someone else.  It may take more effort but it's very necessary.  In doing that detour we were blessed to meet a couple at the Sachem BnB that were so very accommodating.  Tom came and picked us up further than we expected d/t the rain and then allowed us to keep our van at his house when we continued our journey to Natchez.  The one thing we especially enjoyed about this couple and their BnB was the simplicity and homeyness that they brought.   They did something a bit different in that they sat down to eat breakfast with us, which most BnB's will serve but not necessarily sit down. We got to know Tom & Jeannie well, they carted us back and forth a couple of times and were so gracious about it.

We continued our journey and were blessed on our third day with sunshine
and a little warmth and a tail wind.  We could actually make progress.  We felt good about the journey at that time.  I put my music on and pedaled away, thus the name of the blog.  We continued to our next BnB where we met Carol.  Her home was beautiful, but crammed with precious memories.  She was so precious, originally we had ordered dinner from her, she is a wonderful cook, but unfortunately we did not remember.  She heard me say that I wanted a steak after such a long ride and knew she did not have that so she graciously gave us a recommendation for a restaurant that might accommodate us.   She later told us she didn't have the heart to remind us since I wanted a steak.  Some people in our lives don't tell us when we hurt them and we do it so unintentionally, we need to learn how to be flexible and go on.

Each turn in the road and each BnB taught me something about our life together.  Hoping not to bore you all at once I will continue this journey later this week.  Please join me and realize that Life Is Challenging but the commitment is worth it.  

How Do YOU Keep Your Family Together

Many years ago when I started my second marriage I listened to the 7 Keys of successful Marriage ( I think that's the name of it) by Gary Smalley.  It was a video series that I made the guy I was dating watch (who happens to be my sweet husband).  This was a great series that helped us tremendously by starting our marriage with the skills and thoughts that would lead to success especially after both of us had failed marriages.  When I listened, the most profound point I heard and that stuck with me was you need to suffer together.  When a family has trials and they make it through the trials and they actually suffer they bond.  Well, I wanted this stepfamily to bond, and one of the things he said, was that you could put the suffering in by doing something together as a family that might entail some suffering.  He gave the suggestion of camping.  

He tells the story of how his family bought a motor home and headed out and all the escapades with Greg (the oldest) and the other three children and truly bonded.  They had all kinds of great stories.  It sounded just like the movie "RV".  Well, I thought, "I can camp, I have a tent in my garage".  So I convinced John that we needed to camp.  So off we went with five children between the ages of two and ten and headed to Fall Creek Falls about one and a half hours away.  We set up our tent got out the Coleman stove and seemed to be having a wonderful time.  As bedtime rolled around the temperature dropped.  Our sleeping bags were not that heavy and we had some little children that were starting to get very cold.  We all huddled together.  The kids were crying "why did we have to come camping?"  I remember having some candy and gave it out to the kids and our youngest daughter Julie chomped down on that m&m and lost her first tooth.  She cried and cried.  It seemed I had created a disaster.  Everyone was miserable!!!

Years later we looked on that experience and many other camping experiences and found them to be some of the most wonderful highlights in our life.  We laugh about all the disasters, getting up in the middle of the night, hearing the raccoons getting into our stuff and having burned macaroni at the campsite.  Those assimilated tough times did help to bond us.  It was a gift I am very grateful that Gary Smalley gave to my family.  To this day, I recommend many stepfamilies to "go Camping" have some tough times.

I was blessed to have someone share the quote above "The couples that are Meant to be are the ones who go through everything that is designed to tear them apart and come out even stronger".   There are many things that could have torn John and me apart, but we chose to weather through them.  There were times I did not want to keep going.  Kevin Leaman's title "Living in a Stepfamily without Getting Stepped On" rang true to me.  I felt left out and unimportant so many times.  I felt my opinions would never matter.  But now twenty-two years later,  I watch our kids talk about those times and laugh.  We laugh the hardest at the times when I really messed things up.  But I can see now that our kids love each other as adults and really enjoy the memories that we gave to them, in spite of some being tougher than others.

When I consider the tough times I go right to one of my favorite Bible Verses Romans 8:28.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  So those times we thought were the toughest if we hold tight and let God do His work, you will see the good He creates.

Wish me luck,  I'm bonding again.  Next week John and I will be biking 440 miles on the Natchez Trace.  I refused to camp on this trip, but I know we will have some great bonding time.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

So what are some of the tough times that you have shared that have "BONDED" you together?  Share them on this blog or on the Facebook post if you read this.

The Dinner Table Keeps the Family Together

I don't know if you know this fact, but if the family eats together 3 times or more there is greater chance that this family will stay together and have a more balanced life.  In fact as I was reading an article about the family dinner time, it said that the more the family eats together the more healthy the food, the more conversation takes place and the more enjoyable the meal is.  Wow,  the dinner table is pretty important then.  I know that when my kids were growing up we made a family rule that the TV was to be off, dinner was at 6:30 and that you were expected to eat a bite of everything on your plate.  Seems like a simple idea and yes, but I'm not sure why so many people fail at this.  Only 37% of families have a regular dinner time.  Those that are not successful leave the TV on while they eat.  To be honest,  my husband, John and I have found that we violate this rule too frequently now that the children are grown.  We tend to eat out more often and eat in front of the TV more.  When we do, we find that our conversations are richer and we enjoy that time immensely.

Convincing families of this is a little tricky.  I am reminiscent of the scene in the "Blind Side" where Michael had just come to the family and spent Thanksgiving with the family.  On that day Leanne Touhy had not cooked but bought the meal and it was emphasized that she did this infrequently.  As all the family members made themselves comfortable in front of the TV to watch the football game, "Big Mike" went to the dining room table and sat down to eat his meal.  He had not had the luxury of a table many times and wanted to enjoy that small little luxury.  Leeanne noticed what he did and responded by calling all the family in, turned off theTV and sat at the table.  The scene was very touching to me.  I talk with so many families and encourage them to do this and they will tell me they don't have a dining  table, but they have a TV in every room.  That makes me so sad for these families.  Such a simple practice can make a profound difference in the stability of a family.

Implementing this after years of not doing it is a challenge also.  The mom & dad must be the lead.  Preferably the dad making the supportive movement with the mom and making it a team effort.  I know my husband instituted the rules when my children were babies.  I think it was when they were big enough to sit in a high chair.  We have carried this habit on for 22 years.  Our children have so many funny memories of the dinner table conversations and the foods that we would eat.  I remember one move we made in changing the place of our daughter to a different place because she could not quit looking at herself in the mirror in the buffet.  Or the times when my husband's kids would come over and someone would sit out of place, there would be a big ruckus as to "that's not your place".  Such fond memories.

What are your memories and how have you implemented this great habit in your home?